pls tell me.

2010-11-19T20:12:00.002+08:00

My tots..
Saw your latest post on 28th may..
Let me ask you this question..
If you were in my position..
No matter wad i did will still never get to u..

My tots now..
Maybe I think of you sometimes..
Maybe I imagine us getting back together..
But the fact is just that I can't do it..
I can't make myself to be the same around you..
I can't accept you back into my life..
I can't have you out of my mind..
It still hurts deep in my heart..
Reading your post just bring tears to me..
Going out is a torture..
Everywhere is you..

Now..
Just being foolish trying to find the person i love in you in someone else..
Trying to find what I lost..
Forgotten how to love somebody..
Forgotten how to accept..
Forgotten wad is love..

Sitting in the living room using the PC having tears rolling down my cheek..
Any idea of wad you done to me?

2010-02-23T02:17:00.002+08:00

what does it mean by if u nv see or talk to me for long thn u wont have any feelings for me?
trying to imply tt once in poly u will leave me?
my tears are becoming blood.
my heart has stop beating all of the sudden.

2010-01-26T23:14:00.005+08:00

It worries me..
The future is bleak. Not being able to go to the same school as you.
And it seems that our relationship is falling apart..
I feel desperate and angry but to you it seems to be nothing..
You Don't see how i feel..
I care for u so much but you never listen to whatever i say..
so why should I.
I think I cnt continue any longer. everything will soon end once we go to poly..
My heart is becoming heavier and heavier.. I can no longer carry so much weight by myself..
hia..
I should jus slowly allow my heart to forget him..

2010-01-20T00:06:00.002+08:00

I try so hard to leave him behind me..
I am so confuse and I don't know what to do anymore..
But I know that My heart refuse to leave.. It wish to stay with him forever and ever..
I am so afraid and insecure..
Afraid that he would leave me, afraid to get hurt again..
But I still want to spent My rest of my life with him..
It's so special the feeling that I have for him..
I have never had it before..

But I've been giving him a lot of trouble trying to make is feelings fade..
And his feelings are still not fading..
I've made him feel empty instead, I'm not sure what it means..
But I know that I Need to regain control over my life and my heart..
It is in chaos now.. my mind and soul so confuse and blinded by the fog..
I need to clam it down..
I need to be happy again..
I must stop being so stubborn and stupid..

I Hope Our Relationship Can Last Until We Get Old.

2010-01-03T23:39:00.002+08:00

I've learnt a new thing in the relationship I am having now..
Always pick guys who are mature enough to hande ur thinking or the relationship will not go anywhere..
So It's too early to go serious.. Now i understand what everybody meant..
I'm so stupid.. Too naive..
Now.. Is The Start Where The Real Hunting Begins..

I Hope You Can Change Immediately.. And Become More Mature Cuz I truly Love You And Truly Tought You Would Be The One..

2010-01-02T21:50:00.001+08:00

I've Promise to Make You Hurt AS Much As I Did..
Looks Like It Is Working.. I Just Hope That I Won't Regret This..

2009-12-05T18:00:00.003+08:00

out of my list of desires..
i've accomplish 3! new shoes, sweetest moment in my life and most importantly is true love..
I believe i met the one tt i've been w8ting for..
and my sweetest moment in my life is so sweet tt clarence cant take it!
haha.. I can't forget in my whole life..

2009-12-05T17:51:00.002+08:00

I tried to break up with th person i most love today..
It turn out i broke both our hearts not just mine..
I want To return him to the person i feel most guilty towards..
But many told me tt she got over it..
I'm so confused..
And I cherish him alot..
I love him too much tt I am so afraid He would leave me one day..
I cant put my heart down to trust him enuf to stay by my side..
I'm insecure with him.. but i'm happy with him..
he gives me the feeling of someone i should have been tgt with a long time ago..
but.. the story is too complicated..
I jus love him too much to make myself in such a difficult spot..

I hope he understand how much i love him.. how much he meant to me..

2009-11-19T19:49:00.002+08:00

I become "Bogay" today! haha..
Lost 4 teeth today just because i need to make space for braces..
But its cool being Bogay agn.. bak to childhood..

I didn't know my tooth look lai tt..
It doesn't hurt having 4 teeth pluck out at once.. The anesthesia really works its magic..
I need 2 jab b4 it stop hurting..
The injection Syringe is like abt 6inch long..
Than 1 week later I will have my braces like..
Now my lips are still very numb..
haha.. and I keep drooling because my lower lips are numb..

2009-11-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

Life in Bartley Secondary School has ended today..
Friends that i made this year will leave and start a new life of their own and made more new friends..

To Hidayah:
The girl whose expression that is the FUNNIEST of all that i have seen..
A very interesting lady..
Someone who is so in LOVE with the color pink.. so crazy that even myself couldn't stand ur pinkness.. shall be named pinkie princess.. LOLS!!
Although I've only been your fren for like half a year but sure know u are a VERY hygienic person and wouldn't want to lose ur "virginity " of anywhere.. too bad i got some already.. hehe.. LOLS!
Still.. I must thank you for showing ur care and concern to me..

To Trudie:
I Know the joke of "through die" haha..
The girl that I see a vibrant and happy soul in tends to think too much about "love" and get urself troubled abt it..
I hope tt u will soon find ur Mr right!!
I wish for the very best in your future, do cherish wad u have and try to trust ppl..
For every problem there is a solution..
Wipe your eyes clean and u will see the light..
Okay I'm getting HOLY and Nagy..
Still Trudie.. may your coming life road be smooth and loving..

To Hema:
the girl that likes fun and most importantly CHOCOLATE and the color purple!!
Straight forward and likes to slap me!! lols..
A good fren to keep..
Hema! Although we may not be in touch anymore but nice to have you as a fren b4 my Sec 4 life ends..
Enjoy your PS or was it psp or ps3 lols.. nvm.. idk.. haha..

To Janet:
A young beautiful lady that keeps saying she is fat..
All i can say.. if u are fat thn no one is skinny le!!!
I hope that u will take care of ur health and eat proper meals..
You will continue to meet more new frens and expand your relationship..
Meet a good husband(ah hem) and hopefully treats u good la..
And stop thinking you are fat la..
Even if it is this way..
Guys like girls with a little fats to hug.. that is wad my Chinese teacher told us..
And dun tell me u got alot not little.. cuz its little.. u wanna become a stick insect ar?

Lastly to everybody.. We may not see each other anymore in the coming years but in my memory there will always be you guys no matter we are still fren or not.. cuz all of u spent the last few months of your sec 4 life with me!
HOPE TO KEEP IN TOUCH!! AND NEW YEAR I INVITE ALL OF YOU TO COME TO MY PLACE FOR CELEBRATION CAN COME STAY OVERNIGHT IF YOU WANT TO!!!

2009-09-16T16:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, there are so many things on your little fragile heart that it just take that last blow to just ruin everything in ur live..

Sometimes, when the road is getting so bumpy that it takes a little push and you just wan to give up everything you have work so hard for in life..

Sometimes, when a a friend comes along your way and you just don't know how to cherish the chance just lead to losing another friend and breaking your own heart..

There are always times when I want to give up, espeacially now..
So many things.. So many burden..
It is just getting harder and harder to breath under all this pressure..
Everything is just so hard to manage..

Now, I just wish that everything would just sail smoothly..
It is good to not know a lot of things, it keeps me from hurting and just think that everyone has a pure heart.. (but it is always not easy to trust everyone)

Do I live my life to please others or just live my life meaninglessly?
The past is the past, what is most important is the present and the future..
Stop this GUILT in your heart, or you will die from it..

2009-07-07T19:05:00.013+08:00

6th july 2009.

Me, Eng kong, yudhis(THEY 1), yudhis dad(they 2) together they are "WE", clarence and kendrick went east coast for a fishing trip..

Actually janet also got go de, but got scolded on sat thn never come.. sad sad.. T.T
We meet at 10 am at parkway thn yudhis dad tong pang us to east coast in his car..
Yudhis dad so cool..
Here are some photos:

goat..

how sweet>.<

garbage man..

look at clarence.. unglam..

yudhis look like a uncle..

ek ar.. anyhow..

haha.. everybidy got wet at the end of the day..

It was fun though.. i learn how to fish and nearly caught ek as the fish.. lols

Thats all.. byee...

2009-07-05T12:31:00.004+08:00

So many things i never blog about.. Now everything at a go.. haha..
But Some things happen too l ago.. Only Have Some Videos and Photos to show..
Firstly, Videos at Eng Kong House Celebrating his brithday..

On 4 july 2009, me, janet, trudie, yudhis, eng kong, jun nan and kendrick..

we went studying thn go food court eat..
After eat just like normal no more studying went arcade play!!

MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!
During eating, discussion of mon programme..

Too Black to see yudhis.. >.<

At night, I went to BBQ at Mr Lim's Place (condo behind aljunid)..

Here are some videos and pics..

Mr fu at the play ground(for children at the age of 3 and below)..

Windel is losing..

Salute!

Hahas.. this is all that I have to blog..
Next time when I have more thn I'll blog agn.. haha..

2009-06-21T00:19:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since i last blog..
Can say I'm a failure in life..
I did the wrong move.. Now feeling damn guilty..
I should have known better.. (should have use the cheap trick to find out the truth 1st)
Now.. This path that I have taken is so damn HARD to walk..
Feeling Guilty every time when I see her(or their past)..
Feeling damn.. (I shouldn't have..)
But what to do.. a wrong move made is the consequences u have to bear..
Can only accept and move on..
So many things that I wanna say but it is too personal to type out..
Your secret may be exposed to others without you knowing..
So I shall keep this to myself..

I'm becoming a slacker liao.. Influenced by people around me ba..
Homework not being done..
No revision made..
Effort not put in for exams..
Looking behind.. I left myself with piles or things to be done..
So stress..
O levels coming soon in about 2-3 months time and I am here having fun and slacking..
What kind of O level candidate am I sia.. OMG!!
I think confirm ITE liao..
Express To ITE.. WOW good progress made by me.. -.-"'

So many things going on in my mind..
So many cautious actions made..
So many acts I have to put front..
I've become the one I hate most..
A Big Fat Liar..
I wonder when can I don't feel guilty and stop lying to everybody..
Currently thinking about a lot of things..
My actions have hurt a lot of people, I'm so sorry for that..
I didn't mean it..

2009-05-24T15:58:00.003+08:00

Haha.. it's been a long time since I've blog..
0n friday me, Janet, Trudie, Kimberley and Wei kang went to watch THE YOUNG VICTORIA
Haha, it was a romance show.. not bad..
after the show we went to take some photos and went home..
Here are the photos..

lols.. trying to take a photo in front of the poster when the camera women is taking such a long time that everybody felt odd..

finally, we manage to take the photo.. haha.. so funny rite.. haha..

LOLS.. group photo in the toilet.. we are blocking the way of everybody.. lols..

haha.. focus at the back.. me raping weikang trying to force her to let her hair down..

lols.. after the rape.. finally sees weikang hair down.. haha..

2009-04-05T14:28:00.003+08:00

The worst way to be treated is to be isolated and forgotten by the people around you.
这样的感觉会让一个人感到伤心。

本来想一心向学，但是不知什么时候我不知不觉地让我自己掉入陷阱。
有什么办法呢？
注定的吧？
但是，我想这会是一个很困难的路。。

2009-03-18T22:58:00.002+08:00

I'm confused..
I don't know what should I do..
Do I still love him..
As time goes on.. I find myself pulling out from the quicksand..
I'm now sitting on the fence i don knoe what should I do..
I don know..
I'm happy with him..
But unhappy as well..
I feel so not needed in his life..
His frens can give him everything that a person would need to live on..
But I can't, I am not needed..
I still feels that his frens is more important than me..
I don't know..

I'm confused..

What I've realised today..

2009-03-18T17:48:00.002+08:00

18th march, it is his birthday.
I can't celebrate it with him because I've school today..

During lunch I was having a chat with my EXCOs(Mariam, Kimberley) and a senior(OZZ)..
I suddenly realised that the problem in me and him was just..
There wasn't really anything that I can trust on him..
Hence there wasn't any secure in our relationship..

Do you know of any couple that has been together for nearly 9 months and the time that we see each other dosen't even add up to a full 2 months??

OZZ said today that he also wants to ask me to break up..
I see his point, if I were to continue, I will get hurt.
There isn't trust..
I don't trust him enough.. I agree..
I don't trust him..

So what should I do?
Should I listen? or should I just hope that he will give me something to trust on?
I feel as if he is keeping alot of things from me?
Maybe it is because I never know what is going on in his life..
maybe??
But I'm happy when I'm with him..
Also sad when he doesn't tells me anything..
I don't know.. maybe I expected too much out of him?

2009-03-04T15:34:00.001+08:00

I do not know when have I started to feel this way.
I feel. Sad. Unhappy. Desperate. Unreal. Broken. Stress. Alone. Afraid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAD

I'm sad because I realised that no matter how long, no matter how hard I try to make you mine. I could never do it.

Also because I know that there isn't any one on arth that could heal my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UNHAPPY

I'm unhappy because I've lost all hope.
I thought I've found the one that is willing to be mine and mine alone.
But it turns out no.
I thought I've found the one that I could heal my broken heart.
But it turns out.
NO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DESPERATE

I am dieing,

someone to love me
some one to care and concern about me
a shoulder to lean on, to cry on
a hand that will hold mine when i'm lost, when i'm at my weakest.

When can i have all this? who can i get them from?
My heart has been broken since the day I saw how ugly a person heart could get.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the use of complaning, when everything is too late?
What is the use of sharing when nobody can help?
The only one that could help yourself is you and you alone.
No words can expressed the feelings in my heart and everything about me..
All I could say is, I'm always happy when you arenaround me..
You are the weakness that in my life..

2009-03-03T14:57:00.002+08:00

You know, I'm really afraid.
Afraid of loosing you, being lonely, time that you are not by my side.

I only hope for u to be by with me.
I don't want you to get hurt just because of my foolish actions and my undermy unreasonable attitude.

I'm so useless.
All I can do is cry and cry.
I don't know how to solve my problems.
I only wish for someone to take my problems away. Wish for them to dissappear.
My world.. has only ONE pilar. and this pilar is you..

I don't know when will be that day when you leave me.
And when that day comes, my world will crumble at that instance.
I only have you as my closest..

Since the day I know the word "LOVE"
Till this day, love is just what I am desperate for.
I am desperate for love, for care, for concern, for your hugs, for someone to dote on me and most important for you.
I've leave all my live without love.
My parents do not care for me, they did not teach me since the day i was born.
They did not protect me when I was bullied.
I have no one to lean against.

"HOME" to me is jus a place to spend my time on loneliness..

Even now.. my parents retired from work.. They still did not care for me..
The still are not concern about me..

I can't pull myself out from the quicksand in ur forest.
I just love you too much.
I can't afford to lose you.
I find whatever my life needed on you.
My life is meaningless without your presence.

No matter how much i tried.
I'll still loose you in the end and be lonely once again.
I don't know what will happen to me if I loose you.

2009-02-12T16:38:00.002+08:00

He will never understand how i feel..
Because he never understands what I'm talking about.
When I'm telling him things about how i felt..
He wouldn't know..
We are a couple.. yet..
We only meet once a week..
In this 7 to 8 months of relationship..
We only meet each other for one month with all the days added up together..
Do you think that we are in a long distant relationship?
Well.. No..
We stay in singapore..
One in bedok and the other in serangoon..
We Only meet once a week added to be one month..
He is the one I love..
He has his friends to attend to..
He has his family to attend to..
He has his games...
I feel so Extra being in his life..
What am I to Him?
He says he Love me..
But why can't He keep his promises to me?
He says he love me..
But why can't he tell me the reason?
He says I'm important to him..
But why is all this happening?
We are people living in different worlds..
My world, a place of blood and war..
His world, a place of simple and peace..
We are 2 different people from 2 different world..
Are we really meant for each other?
I love him so dearly..
When will the time come when he is willing to give everything up for me??
He says he is serious about me..
Compared to all his other girlfriends he had before..
But..
Why is there a GAP..
Why Do i feel that he is lying to me?
I don't feel that i'm important to him neither in he is serious about us..
I feel I'm just his pleasure..
I have no where to go now..
My heart..
In millions of pieces.. Thrown into the sea..
I've traded my soul to the devil..
Just to forget all the pain in my life..
What did I do wrong??

2009-02-11T18:30:00.002+08:00

Today..
Janet brought food.. Chinese New Year cookies..
Everybody Was Busy Gobbling Up The Box Of delicious cookies!!
Wow.. And My Maths Result!!
BANG man.. 31/33 That is OMG!!
And I got a Lollipop From Mr Chen My Form Teacher!!
So Shoik!!
The Joke of the Day Is..
ME!!!
Janet Ask Me If I wanted Anything To Eat Tomorrow..
So I Said.. I Want To Drink Milk..
And Guess What?
She Ask Kimberley For Milk..
Janet," kimberley, yuxin say she want to drink milk.."
kimberley," Erm.. I Cannot Provide Mlik.. I Not A Mother Yet.."
Than I'm Like WTH???
I said, " I Want COW MILK not YOUR milk la.. kimberley.."
Kimberley," hahahaha, How I Know? You Always Like To Talk About Horny Stuff Want MAh.."
Than I'm LIKE.. Wah Lao Eh Lai that Say Me LA??
I Give You Entertainment Than You Lai That Say Me..
Wah Lao..

Funny.. HAHA..

2009-02-11T18:04:00.002+08:00

This Happen On tuesday.. yestarday..
QianYing, Kimberley,weikang, kesline and me, were lining up to buy food..
Out of no where we started talking about..
Stare Stare campany..
Air pork distribution pte ltd.
Qian Ying was the sergent for Stare Stare company..
And Kimberley, 2nd sergent..
Qian Ying Has The power of not to BLINK!! lols.
Kimberley was just being said by me.. pork ar.. pork ar.. pork ar.. pork ar..
I'm just being said o be the air pork..
Every night trying to escape from farm.. -.-
Creating Trouble for the farm.. And QianYing's contractor (don't know who the hell is that) will be building a higher fence and might just install sensor to prevent me from taking charge in bringing their AIRPORK out of the FARM!!
LOLS.. What THE HELL???

2009-02-08T14:26:00.002+08:00

what I've given to my relationship is just too much for me to take..
What should i do?
I've given everything?
I feel so insecure, so unatable
I don't know how long more can I carry on this way..
Can LOVE over take everything?
What about my studies..
I want to FOCUS on my studies..
Will he mind if I break up?
Will he mind if I didn't talk to him or pei him for quite some time?
What will he DO???
I'm at loss..
What should I do?
I love Him SO MUCH!!!!
I don't wish to hurt him..
I just don't know what to do..
Should I just carry on with my studies and don't care how he felt?
Will it be alright?
What should i do?

My Wish List

2009-02-08T13:48:00.003+08:00

I wish:

some one will give me all the love, warmth and a shoulder to cry on when i'm lonely
some one would give me a make over, make me become the most beautiful girl(best is my bf)
some one would make me into the most elegant girl
some one would always be there
has nice clothes to wear
love letter from the person i love most
find true love
remove all the pain on me

I wish all my wishes would come true..

2008-10-29T21:54:00.003+08:00

I don't know what to do now. I don't know what i want. The future of mine is bleak nv bright. What Should I do? I'm so Sad.. I should be happy but i don't feel anything.. just stress.. stress is all what i'm experiencing. What have I done wrong?! Why can't I have a peaceful relationship and a loving bf!! why can't i have anything in my life? Why can't I have anything? My life is so empty.. So lonely.. So pathetic!! I hate myself.. Pathetic soul is me.. hia.. a lonely pathetic soul that will nv get a chance to reborn and prove myself is nothing but a reject in this cruel world.. I'm just wearing a mask where ever I go.. lonely pathetic soul rooming this universe without a clue where I'm heading, where am I going? Is there any place on this universe where i can rest my feet in peace? lonely pathetic soul without anyone to care or love.. i can nv love anyone or let anyone love me..
Lonely Pathetic Soul..

2008-08-22T20:58:00.002+08:00

Meaning of FAMILY.....
Here Is The Answer...
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou

Why does a man want to have a WIFE?Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment

Why does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?Because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding

Do you know that a simple HELLO can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one.
(I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).
The word HELLO means:
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you ..

2008-08-22T19:30:00.002+08:00

The Distance Between Us Is Growing Further and Further Away..
Maybe You Can't Feel It But I Do..
And It Is Causing Me To Be Very Uncomfortable..
I Feel So Not Secure About Our Relationship..
Everything Seem So Unfamiliar, So Odd..
I Seem Not To Even Know You Although You Are My Boyfriend..
I Really Can't Say Anything..
I Can't Do Anything, Can't Pull Myself Together..
Truthfully I Suddenly Felt That You Are a Stranger To Me..
Though I Miss You..
Though I Love You But I Can't Help It To Feel This Way..
I've Kept This To Myself Since The Day You Told Me Not To Feel This Way..
I Really Don't Understand You.. I Really Don't..
I Don't Want You To Worry About This But Focus On Your Prelims Than Your 'O' Levels I Don't Want To Become Your Burden..
I Don't Want To Let You Worry About Us..
I Really Feel That I'm Not Good For You, Being Such A Bad Girlfriend To You I really Don't Know How To Be Better.
It Really Stress Me Up That I Don't Want To Care About This Anymore.
I'm Very Tired Already.
I Don't Want To Think About What Problems We Are Having Or What I Feel..
I Just Want You To Be Happy..
But I Seem To Fail Everytime I Try To Do So..
Hia.. Lao Gong, I'm Really Sorry..
But I Can't Bring Myself To Face You..
You Just Seem Like A Stranger To Me That I Have No Idea Who The Hell Are You..
The Only Thing That Is Familiar Is Your Name And Your Face, Nothing More..
Really Sorry But I Can't Help It To Feel This Way..
Signing Off,
complicated world

2008-08-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

S4L 8039.. The Craziest Group Of People That I Love So Much.. S4L 8039 ROX!!! This Coming Saturday Is Blank That I Have No Idea On How To Spent It Without Them!! Me And My Boyfriend(EUGENE LAOGONG) Going 2 Months Le.. Time Pass So Fast!! This Coming Monday Will Be Our 2 Months Anniversary.. Too Bad Its a School Day.. So Maybe We Have To Celebrate It Earlier.. I Miss My Laogong So Much..
Laogong This Is For You:
You Are My Lover..
You Make Me Laugh..
You Make Me Cry..
The Love We Share Is Never Ending..
How Our Love Survives In This World Is Something That Worth Alot To Think About..
For Longest Time I've Lived With Hole In My Heart..
Because You Have Stolen A Piece Of My Heart..
And I Prayed One Day I Will Find You To Fill My Heart Up..
Now You Took The Rest Of My Heart And Bound It WIth Your's..
So Tightly That There Is No Way That You Are Gonna Loose Me..
Now That We Are Together.. I'll Never Let You Go..
And I'll Never Stop Loving You Whole heartedly!!
我爱你!!

你是我的一切!!

我不会变心的!!
就因为我太爱你!!

就算我有多伤心，多生气，多不想原谅你!!

我还是会不舍得发你脾气的!!

因为我太爱你!!

所以老公这些是写给你的!!

就为了说对不起，我不能没有你，我不管多难过我还是爱你的!!

我还是关心你的!!

我的心只属于你的!!

所以你可以放一百颗心在我这里..

因为我很爱你..

2008-05-30T19:05:00.000+08:00

bak from cambodia.. i don knoe why.. i love him so much.. i can't believe it man.. though i know that he will NOT like me! but he jus giv me the feeling tt he likes me! my feeling for him has nv die.. why!? i'm sodesperate man... i can't believe it tt i love him so much.. why? i wanna be hug.. i wanna be kissed by him.. desperate for him.. i'm crazy about him.. and this day is the day tt makes me cry the most.. cried from 7pm to 1 am!! i miss him.. i love him though i knoe tt it is impossible between us.. but there is still hope for me?! i jus wanna love him and torture myself..i jus wan to stay by his side, look at him.. i'm so tempted to be with him!! i love him la.. idoit!! argh.. why i love him so much?! i can't stop to keep thionking abt him la.. wa lao.. i love him la! my heart beat for him... myheart will also stop for him.. he is the only one tt i will hav.. i love him so much man..omg.. there is no end to this love for him!!!

2008-05-20T19:02:00.001+08:00

I can't help it to feel for u! my feeling for u is jus so strong.. especially when ur just in front of me! the more I love you! but i'm so lucky.. tt u didn't avoid me!!and u talk to me on mon i'm so happy thn.. i can't stand to look into ur eyes everytime i look at u i feel like hugging u!! i jus love u tt much but u seem to hav no feelings for me.. maybe tts how u really feel anyway..

2008-05-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

sitting down in the breeze thingkin through.. i don know wad am i thinking.. i think u're the one.. i don think u love me!? suddenly i feel so foolish.. so argh!! i'm crazy!! i can't believe it! there is a sour feeling in my heart.. i know i like u but i also know tt u don't.. there is no hope for me!? why does this s2p things abt love always gets to me?! hia.. i can't believe it.. i must br crazy to like u!! i must be crazy to even think tt u will like me! so foolish.. all i wish now is for me to be by ur side and be with u always.. being frens will be nice and fun enough for me!! jus hope tt u will be there with me always.. i jus hope so.. my heart is so sour.. i'm so lonelu.. why?!?! I feel so terrible.. i wish to be hug now.. i wish to cry now.. terrible life.. if i hav a wish i wish tt he will love me and stay with me forever! theres no word tt can describe wad i'm feeling now.. pain..

2008-05-09T18:50:00.000+08:00

i feel so lost.. shud i tell him? or should i not? T.T does he love me? or does he not? does he only treat me as a fren? as a sisteR? i'm so down.. i wanna hug him and cry my heart out.. i feel so dodwn.. i need a shoulder.. can he lent me his? is he my mr right? T.T so many emotions going through my heart..

2008-05-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

geography is on course tmr.. going mad already study for 12h straight! Thinking of turtle jus makes me on cloud nine.. but also the tot tt turtle seems to be avoiding me really hurts! I went cycling, without knowing i cycled all the way to jus outside his house and turn bak quickly.. i'm so afraid though.. afraid to tell him.. afraid of the fact tt he do not have the same feelings as i do.. so many things jus gets in my way this year.. i'm running so not smoothly this year! yest bcuz of a lizard prob with in janet room.. i accompanied her until she feels safe enough to sleep.. at 3 plus!! but nvm its something a fren can do.. after she felt comfortable we talk about everything.. turtle.. lizards.. bla bla bla.. thn some funny stuff.. and stress over studies awhile.. so sianz rite.. but being there personally.. u can feel how funny janet is.. with her screaming while she was shooting.. imagine if u were there looking at such funny stuff.. will really have u LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF!! oh ya!! and i'm reall happy today.. he said hugs and kisses.. though it's jus for fun..but i still feel tt i'm on cloud 9!! i can't believ it!! omg!! i'm thrilled!! I think tts all haha.. time to go.. bye..

2008-05-03T18:46:00.000+08:00

my life has suddenly gone down.. i don knoe.. i'm missing him.. he seems to be avoiding me? i don get it.. why?! does he hav no feeling for me!? waiting.. waiting.. waiting.. going bonkers about him.. why am i so crazy.. hanging on to a love that has no ending.. foolish me!

2008-05-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

is he the one i'm waiting for... do her hav feelings for me? does he? my love for him are real.. i wonder id he can feel wad i feel for him.. i wonder if he know.. he seems ot be avoiding me today!? why? my mind is filled with questions.. i cnt stop thinking about him.. maybe its time i take actions and ask him if i could be with him? forever and ever? I really love him.. do hr love me? Does he havfeelings for me? or am i just thinking too much? missing him.. his my new life.. hia.. my new baobei dear in my heart of cuz.. the feeling to tell him honestly of how i feel is growinbg stronger and stronger!! wad should i do! i really hope tt i can be with him..