My tots..
Saw your latest post on 28th may..
Let me ask you this question..
If you were in my position..
No matter wad i did will still never get to u..

My tots now..
Maybe I think of you sometimes..
Maybe I imagine us getting back together..
But the fact is just that I can't do it..
I can't make myself to be the same around you..
I can't accept you back into my life..
I can't have you out of my mind..
It still hurts deep in my heart..
Reading your post just bring tears to me..
Going out is a torture..
Everywhere is you..

Now..
Just being foolish trying to find the person i love in you in someone else..
Trying to find what I lost..
Forgotten how to love somebody..
Forgotten how to accept..
Forgotten wad is love..

Sitting in the living room using the PC having tears rolling down my cheek..
Any idea of wad you done to me?

what does it mean by if u nv see or talk to me for long thn u wont have any feelings for me?
trying to imply tt once in poly u will leave me?
my tears are becoming blood.
my heart has stop beating all of the sudden.

It worries me..
The future is bleak. Not being able to go to the same school as you.
And it seems that our relationship is falling apart..
I feel desperate and angry but to you it seems to be nothing..
You Don't see how i feel..
I care for u so much but you never listen to whatever i say..
so why should I.
I think I cnt continue any longer. everything will soon end once we go to poly..
My heart is becoming heavier and heavier.. I can no longer carry so much weight by myself..
hia..
I should jus slowly allow my heart to forget him..

I try so hard to leave him behind me..
I am so confuse and I don't know what to do anymore..
But I know that My heart refuse to leave.. It wish to stay with him forever and ever..
I am so afraid and insecure..
Afraid that he would leave me, afraid to get hurt again..
But I still want to spent My rest of my life with him..
It's so special the feeling that I have for him..
I have never had it before..

But I've been giving him a lot of trouble trying to make is feelings fade..
And his feelings are still not fading..
I've made him feel empty instead, I'm not sure what it means..
But I know that I Need to regain control over my life and my heart..
It is in chaos now.. my mind and soul so confuse and blinded by the fog..
I need to clam it down..
I need to be happy again..
I must stop being so stubborn and stupid..

I Hope Our Relationship Can Last Until We Get Old.

I've learnt a new thing in the relationship I am having now..
Always pick guys who are mature enough to hande ur thinking or the relationship will not go anywhere..
So It's too early to go serious.. Now i understand what everybody meant..
I'm so stupid.. Too naive..
Now.. Is The Start Where The Real Hunting Begins..

I Hope You Can Change Immediately.. And Become More Mature Cuz I truly Love You And Truly Tought You Would Be The One..

I've Promise to Make You Hurt AS Much As I Did..
Looks Like It Is Working.. I Just Hope That I Won't Regret This..

out of my list of desires..
i've accomplish 3! new shoes, sweetest moment in my life and most importantly is true love..
I believe i met the one tt i've been w8ting for..
and my sweetest moment in my life is so sweet tt clarence cant take it!
haha.. I can't forget in my whole life..

I tried to break up with th person i most love today..
It turn out i broke both our hearts not just mine..
I want To return him to the person i feel most guilty towards..
But many told me tt she got over it..
I'm so confused..
And I cherish him alot..
I love him too much tt I am so afraid He would leave me one day..
I cant put my heart down to trust him enuf to stay by my side..
I'm insecure with him.. but i'm happy with him..
he gives me the feeling of someone i should have been tgt with a long time ago..
but.. the story is too complicated..
I jus love him too much to make myself in such a difficult spot..

I hope he understand how much i love him.. how much he meant to me..

I become "Bogay" today! haha..
Lost 4 teeth today just because i need to make space for braces..
But its cool being Bogay agn.. bak to childhood..



I didn't know my tooth look lai tt..
It doesn't hurt having 4 teeth pluck out at once.. The anesthesia really works its magic..
I need 2 jab b4 it stop hurting..
The injection Syringe is like abt 6inch long..
Than 1 week later I will have my braces like..
Now my lips are still very numb..
haha.. and I keep drooling because my lower lips are numb..

Life in Bartley Secondary School has ended today..
Friends that i made this year will leave and start a new life of their own and made more new friends..

To Hidayah:
The girl whose expression that is the FUNNIEST of all that i have seen..
A very interesting lady..
Someone who is so in LOVE with the color pink.. so crazy that even myself couldn't stand ur pinkness.. shall be named pinkie princess.. LOLS!!
Although I've only been your fren for like half a year but sure know u are a VERY hygienic person and wouldn't want to lose ur "virginity " of anywhere.. too bad i got some already.. hehe.. LOLS!
Still.. I must thank you for showing ur care and concern to me..

To Trudie:
I Know the joke of "through die" haha..
The girl that I see a vibrant and happy soul in tends to think too much about "love" and get urself troubled abt it..
I hope tt u will soon find ur Mr right!!
I wish for the very best in your future, do cherish wad u have and try to trust ppl..
For every problem there is a solution..
Wipe your eyes clean and u will see the light..
Okay I'm getting HOLY and Nagy..
Still Trudie.. may your coming life road be smooth and loving..

To Hema:
the girl that likes fun and most importantly CHOCOLATE and the color purple!!
Straight forward and likes to slap me!! lols..
A good fren to keep..
Hema! Although we may not be in touch anymore but nice to have you as a fren b4 my Sec 4 life ends..
Enjoy your PS or was it psp or ps3 lols.. nvm.. idk.. haha..

To Janet:
A young beautiful lady that keeps saying she is fat..
All i can say.. if u are fat thn no one is skinny le!!!
I hope that u will take care of ur health and eat proper meals..
You will continue to meet more new frens and expand your relationship..
Meet a good husband(ah hem) and hopefully treats u good la..
And stop thinking you are fat la..
Even if it is this way..
Guys like girls with a little fats to hug.. that is wad my Chinese teacher told us..
And dun tell me u got alot not little.. cuz its little.. u wanna become a stick insect ar?

Lastly to everybody.. We may not see each other anymore in the coming years but in my memory there will always be you guys no matter we are still fren or not.. cuz all of u spent the last few months of your sec 4 life with me!
HOPE TO KEEP IN TOUCH!! AND NEW YEAR I INVITE ALL OF YOU TO COME TO MY PLACE FOR CELEBRATION CAN COME STAY OVERNIGHT IF YOU WANT TO!!!